T I R E D ;_;

Feels different now, school has started, and it was kind of normal. Yeah, normal but it's USUALLY normal, but not this term :( I don't know why I kept on let my self down. From my heart (?) it's because of you #again. But it's true anyway. Some other days you were giving a sign that you still like me, but sometimes you don't which it doesn't make sense! Well, yesterday (23.07.10) on Friday prayer, I got told by Year 7 girl that you "don't really like me" any more :( which I kind of pretended that I was happy, but no way, I'm not.

Okay... I admitted that I regretted what I've done, I should've go out with you last year ! But did you really asked me out ? Or was it just my friend ? C'mooooooooooooooooon ! I want an answer ! You were online last time but you didn't say anything to me :'( What should I do ? It's like I'm thinking/wishing/begging for you :(( I know that I might be arrogant in front of you, but you knew I'm a shy type of girl right ? I'm not use to you yet. What should I do ? Leave you alone ? I'm just tired of waiting :( I bet you too. I wanna call you soooo freakin bad :( But I guess you won't let me aye.

FOR FARK SAKE ! I'm writing this and, seriously I'm putting shits in my blog because of you ! I'm tired :''''(

But I'm still ... you niway :) (?)

HAHA gay -,-

Paramore - Here We Go Again (lyric)

So true ☺

And here we go again
With all the things we said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back,
These words and hold our breath
Forget the things we swore we meant

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not. (No, I'm not)
Well, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things we did
And now I'm wondering
Just who would I have been
To be the one attached
At all times to your hip?
Forget the things we swore we meant.

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not. (No, I'm not)
Well, I'm not. (No, I'm not)
Oh (No, I'm not)

I'll write you to, to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not. (No, I'm not)
Well, I'm not. (No, I'm not)
I'm not, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things we said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back...
(No, I'm not)
So we just take it back...
(I'm not)
So we just take it back...

Paramore - The Only Exception♥ (lyric)

Just love this song :')


When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched as he tried to reassemble it

And my mama swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But, darling, you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception

Well, maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me of some kind of proof it's not a dream, oh

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Erh .."WOW"

(?)
So... I was wrong all along. Today at 9.02pm you chatted with me, well you only said "hi" but then I'm offline because I need to pray O:-) #sok and changed my computer onto laptop(?). I replied about 12 minutes later and we started to talk for a bit. Then I said "I'm sorry about Friday thingy" You said "?? What happened?" As if you've forgotten about it And I explained it of course. And you said "it's okay"♥. Which made me kinda release my guiltiness.

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So ! I was wrong all along, I shouldn't just f*cking cry and talk sh*t bout it. I should've just wait and forget bout it a little and yeah... wait until you reply. I mean go f*ckin look ! I was hurt and stuff because of you.. But it's alright now, I'm not gonna make a big mess again. But really, what makes us be together ? We just had a little convo, just after you said "it's okay" and I said "ok then" we stopped. Maybe I can't call you anymore aye ? HHHHHHHHHHHHH who cares now, all I want is a life without a problem ! Erh... everybody of course wanted that to happen-_- but some might just seems to be lost, just like meh -_- Hurffffff... I'll still try my best though #again.

Good bye now Bloggers :'3

It's like the end

Yesterday night, you wanted me to call you, and that was like 9/10 pm. I knew it was just too soon. But anyway, I listened to you. I called you with my dad's phone and I've made an excuse. You picked it up quickly as if you really want to talk to me. After we talk for a while, something happened, and its probably unusual. I couldn't hear you, you were probably too. I shouted a bit loud and of course my parents could hear it, so did yours. You shouted. And when the time you had to go, you whispered on the phone: "I gotta go" which I said "okay"♥. I laughed a lil and put a status on Twitter about what'd you said. I thought you weren't gonna chat with me on Facebook. But then you told me that your family got disturbed from how you talk loudly to me on the phone and they woke up which maybe... I don't know. I asked you, did you get in trouble ? You didn't answer from the chat. I tried to apologise, you didn't give a respond or send me a message just like how you use to when you thought that I'm offline.

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'Till today, you haven't give me a respond. You haven't go online on Facebook. You know, I really thought that you're online every night because its holiday. But maybe just maybe I realise that you're online because you wanted to talk to me, would that be right ? I can't send you a message, just to scared that you're just gonna delete and blah blah blah. I can't call you because maybe that's the reason why you hate me now. I just don't know what to do. And I felt guilty, because, if I can't hear you, you can just type what you're gonna say on the Facebook chat, right ? But you wouldn't listen. You've made it harder for me. You told me that you have more than 15 girlfriends. Isn't that just like what Playboys would have ? Are you really like this ? Just wait. Are you angry at me ? OR are you grounded ? These questions are all over my head. Swimming and twirling around. You can't feel it can you ?

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School starts on the 20th maybe. How am I suppose to react in front of you ? Covering my face all the time ? It's just ridiculous. And wow, I never knew that I would cry. Maybe it is better if I'm single, I mean I am. But you're just like the "wannabe my boyfriend". You know, just like you said, we've talk so many stuff. We joked around at so many stuff. It's just like we are together. But really.. this is just like we're done. Sometimes, teenager's relationship just bring sadness and they just want to kill themselves which I probably think I should do that. But no way am I gonna do that, I mean, just for that ? Looking at my old baby picture with my gone grandfather just make me realise how much I've grown. I've always wanted to grow up when I was little. But now, look, what confuses teenagers recently ? Relationship with dudes.

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I'm still waiting for you now. Maybe 'till school starts. Yeah maybe, or I'll just give up, and leave you and make a new start. Yeah maybe Lets do that.

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Still waiting for you.
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Good bye♥ :')

PS: AM I THAT SENSITIVE ?-_-

I miss Indo D:

Okay, you know how this is holiday, right ? People would go to their country and LALALA, shopping -___-, going out somewhere etc. BUT HOW BOUT MEH ?! I'm twelve and I miss my country ! Do you know how much your country really look like the best home ever ? Hurrrrrrmmmmm... but I guess i have to see the situation, how my dad is really trying his hardest to finish his study, I mean, he studied here for almost, 2004-2005-2006-2007-2008-2009-2010, how many years is that ? 7 or 6 ? -___- and also my mum, who really work fast. And I dont think my bro is ready to head Indo's education, well, neither do I. But I just miss everything there, I just wish i could have 5 wishes.
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Those wishes won't happen though, but you can really make the wishes come true if you make the effort to it. WHICH I'm lazy ! Of course, these days girls and boys, ladies & gentleman(?) are lazy ! Can't be stuff, can't be bothered, can't be f*cked -___- which made me feel hopeless. I miss every food there that are HALAL haha :') Those McDonald and what ever they have and i the ones that i never eat it for almost 2 years :')) But i'll still try though, finishing my school and make a good grade. I mean, DAMN ! I could get kill in Indonesia. Maybe its because too much homework perhaps ? or the education really.
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Almost every day i pray, sometimes forgot to ask forgiveness, wishes, which makes me feel guilty about everything. I still wanna try though, i have to, reaaaaaaally, have to. HAHA LAME ! But yeah..

See yous : ]

Unreal

YEAH! Like from Sunday the 4th of July ---> HOLIDAY, he started to call meh, you guys shouldve seen my whole face after that HAHAHA. So anyways i felt guilty for not accepting the request to go out with him. YES ! It was last year since he like me, and at that time, i was so f*ckiiiiiiiin stupid ! Until now, i dont know what to do, but most of the night and afternoon he chat with meh, which is awesome♥ He told me to call him several times, but you know how my parents are really concern about having a boyfriend ?? URGHHH, is like killing my ass off :'(

I really don't know whether i should ask him out or just freaken SHOOT! Not those shoot thing with guns-__- with that love arrow thingy magic HAHA♥ I really wanna do that, but fck, HOW ?! I even searched it on the Internet but cant be stuff yoh know -__- This holiday, all i did was internet internet internet, tv tv tv, music music music, laughing laughing laughing (?) Isn't that the f*ckin, sh*test school holiday ever ?? My friends are going out with each other but some dont, which made me confused. Just dont know why. I really even wish to go out with him, i mean, its great because he's in year 9, cute (HAHA), kinda funny, etc♥ But..... grr dont know what to do now.

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Should I shoot him immediately or should I just wait until we're reaaaaaaally close enough ? HAHA
Really I could've just trash this stuff that going on all over my head but its just too important(?) -__-
Bye Now : )

Pulpo Paul

Okay now, for 1 month I never write anything here haha. I just don't know what to write, and i just can't be bothered, but seeing my friends are all blogging it made me want to, but what should I write ? My mind just stuffed up. Okay the world cup is gonna end on Sunday ! Which the TV program is gonna be freaken boring with all that rubbish. Since this week ----> Holiday, I never knew there's an octopus that predicts who is gonna win/lose. And that octopus is Pulpo Paul, weird name aye ? HAHAH
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Since I knew this octopus, I got surprised that his predictions are right. He predicted that #GER would win the game by versusing #ARG. And it was right. I thought it was just a lucky guess. But on July 7th/6th, #GER vs #ESP, Paul predicted that #ESP would win. Of course i wouldn't believe it, but after I watched the match, well i didnt really watch it because of my stupid ALARM ! Paul once again right. Was that a lucky guess though ? I was freakin angry, naa DUHHH. On Twitter I kept on complaining that I should eat the octopus. Hey you knever know if he's a demon. HAHA wtf an Octopus is a DEMOOOOOOON -_- ?

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Soo, #GER lost and they have to fight to be the third place of the FIFA with #URU. I still don't know Paul's gonna predict who win/lose. But I heard that Paul had predicted who's gonna win the World Cup, which he picked #NED between that and #ESP, would it be true ? :O I still think Paul just had a lucky guesses. HAHA MEAAAAAAAAAAN. Who knows.

Well, now i dont know whom i go for, #NED or #ESP ? Most people are going for #ESP that included my dad. But who cares aye ;D I'll go for the one thats winning HAHA
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FIFA WORLD CUP 2010 !
YEAAAAAAAAAAH